that moment, when i lost hope.

昨天, 当我在公园慢跑, 不知道怎么突然间哭了起来... 哭红了眼... 


为什么? 我用English说吧... 


I Suddenly felt as though "i'm lost". 
seriously lost, like in the middle of no where. 
I felt I don't know what I want, what I'm searching for, what I want to achieve in life. 
it suddenly felt as though my life is so meaningless. 
我到底想要什么? 


It's just Monday to Friday, go work, after work, eat dinner, sleep, sometimes go gym,  exercise, that's it. Period. Nothing more than that. No outing, no hanging out with friends, no activities, no entertainment. NOTHING! How boring can I be right?
难到我的生活就那么无趣吗?


Carreer wise, I dunno what I really want to achieve, I dunno what i'm really passionate about. I'm not sure whether I'm in love with my job or not. What's my goal? Plans for the future?
我的梦想到底是什么? 


Friends wise, I don't have many. Only a hand full that I can really count on, but they're all far far away. I don't have a bestie, it fact I never had one my entire life. Pathetic right i kno. 
我怎么都没有好朋友呢?


Relationship wise, I suck so badly in this. My first didt work out, i did't get to be with the one i loved for some reasons, the next well distance distance.... sigh, it never was a good ending. I don't even know who I love any more... 
感情方面我真的那么没有缘分吗?


Life aint that easy after all, aint it? 
生活根本就不容易嘛! 讨厌! 


我望着天, 自言自语的在说出我的烦恼... 
说完了, 我闭上眼睛, 冷静下来, 深呼吸, 才发觉我的心跳这么快... 
我的心几乎在跟我说, "hey, u're very much alive, go out there n have the time of ur life! don't waste time bragging or mumbling about how sucky life can be, life is full of shitty moments, but its also fill with happy moments, no? it's all up to us to decide whether we want to be happy or not! so cheer up, I'll continue beating hard in you, and all u've got to do is BE STRONG and face whatever it is to come. u can do it! Fight! 


哭完了, 哭够了, 心情好多了, 该时候回家了... :)) 


p/s: i miss u so much bear, *looks at fuzz* "u're all i have now.." 

u kno u love me, 

coz i relly relly do

still do, always will, forever 

xoxo.  ♥