have u ever feel tired, as in real tired, until you don't feel like doing anything at all? i dunno whether its tired or bored or moody or restless or watever you name it. i'm so feeling it right now. gawd, i so hate this feeling. i'm feeling so tired, plus the fact that my life is so boring kills me. I don't have many friends in KL, as a matter of fact, KL or no KL, I don't have many friends. I mean don't include the hi hi bye bye friends larh. pathetic right? ya i know. all the more making me feel worst. Don't get the wrong idea, it's not that i don't have friends at all, it's just that many of them are not around me, after graduating from UTAR, we all parted and went our own ways, and many of them stayed back and work at their hometown espcially my close girlfrenz and not to forget my housemates, right now, all separated oso. my secondary frens? got, all in epoh. GREAT. aarrggghh, how isit possible that someone can be so boring??! Aren't I suppose to be enjoying my life right now? i tot this was the peak where i get to do whatever i want? but no friends, wat's the point?
you know sometimes, i can get really emotional, u may not see that part of me, or should i say u will never get to see that part of me, cause on the outside, i looked okay, i looked happy with a BIG smile plastered on my face. I tell myself i am strong, or rather pretending that i'm strong even to myself. Does that make me a good actor?
Sometimes, i just need someone to look me in the eyes, knowing exactly how i feel, gimme a big hug and tell me it's alright to be not okay, it's alright to let it all out, it's alright to let go, to break down. Again, don't get the wrong idea, not that i don't have anyone that cares about me)
I feel like a candle, it's lit up. but it feels as though it's slowly fading away. Am I gonna stay till the candle finish lighting or am i gonna suddenly just go off...??
coz i rely relly do,
always and forever,
xoxo.
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